sábado, 26 de diciembre de 2009

Three last things to say

As the year draws to a close and we focus on drawing the light back I want to say more about what I know right now:

Your birth is yours. Make sure you know that and understand the dark and light side of that. The light side of that is that you are responsible for it, that it is YOUR BIRTH. If your husband wants a cesarean and you want a homebirth, then he can go and have his cesarean. The light side is that you MUST choose wisely and on your own that where you birth is where you will birth the best and that is nonnegotiable. The dark side of that is that your birth is your responsibility. Whatever happens in your birth is your creation. You called it, you created it, you are responsible for it. That includes unexpected outcomes and death as well.

Women need Women. It is absurd to expect men, who have never been with us through the blood mysteries, move into them in the 1970's and know how to behave. It is absurd to retreat in the postpartum into a home occupied only by your husband, a man whose father barely survived by smoking cigarettes outside the labor room when his mother was knocked out for his birth, or maybe learned some Lamaze style labor coaching. It is absurd to expect this man, with all of his well intended heart to help you negotiate your shadow through breastfeeding, meeting yourself as a mother and understanding that you- YES YOU, your body, made and pushed this little baby out. It is absurd that the first and only time that women are at birth is their own birth (as a baby and as a mother) and that we expect women to be able to birth learning through classes and books. It is absurd that women are expected to peel their babies off their dripping breasts at 6 weeks, 6 months or any time, and drop them off in an institution overcrowded with other babies, bacteria and strange young "infant development experts". It is absurd that women are expected to concentrate at work knowing that their baby in day care may be screaming and in nobody's arms. It is absurd that women complain ALL THE TIME about how they don't have time for themselves, for their relationships, for their children, for anything, as they excel as mothers, leaders, goddesses, dominatrix's and more. It is absurd that women break down in Childbirth Education Class saying, "I've never told anyone this but....". Where are the other women??? They are all alone, as well, at home! Can someone please put women together??? PLEASE!

The government needs to get out of our bodies. This means that they need to stop telling us whether or not to do things (birth, mammograms, abortions), how, where, at what age, and under what conditions. It means that they need to listen to us and ask us what we want. It means they need to take us seriously. It means they need to stop assuming that because they think they can control our uterus', they know what's best for it. It means that they need to acknowledge our diversity as women and support the health of that. That means everything- abortions, homebirths, mammograms, maternity leave, equipped neonatal intensive care units... Whatever it takes to keep our mother's healthy and our communities healthy, because our new members are coming in THROUGH our mothers, and our mothers are welcoming them (or not). And how a mother and a community welcomes a new baby has everything to do with how things will go for that child later.

And may 2010 listen to me carefully, me and all other women!!

40 comentarios:

  1. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.............................................

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  2. 原來這世上能跟你共同領略一個笑話的人竟如此難得........................................

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  3. 愛惜生命的人,不可浪費時間,因為時間是組成生命的元素. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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  4. Just on the other side of the coin... My man assisted at 6 of my births, he delivered 3 of them. He is a wonderful birth coach, takes care of me when PG., Gets up for the baby at night, takes care of the others kids while I bound with the newborn, cleans the house, change diapers, loves me and the kids, helps me with weaning the baby, makes me feel important in my mother's role...and the list goes on. There most more like him!?

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  5. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。 ..................................................

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  6. 一個人的快樂,不是因為他擁有的多,而是他計較的少。 ....................................................

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  7. 幽默並不是諷刺,它或許帶有溫和的嘲諷,卻不傷人,它可能是以別人,也可以用自己為對象。........................................

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  8. 欣賞是一種美德~回應是最大的支持^^.................................................................                           

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  9. 一定要保持最佳狀況呦,加油!!!期待你發表的新文章!.................................................................                           

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  10. 人生有如洶湧的波濤,如果沒有岩石的阻擋,怎能激起美麗的浪花?............................................................

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  11. 與朋友在一起,分擔的痛苦是減半的痛苦,分享的快樂是加倍的快樂。......................................................................

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  12. Please email about your midwifery clinic. aisha_alhajjar@yahoo.com

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  13. I'm seeking information about student midwifery opportunities, having found the center on the NARM OOC list. I am available for the entire month of July 2013, and am currently completing the "Primary under Supervision," births and clinicals. If you are still taking students, could you please respond via email: aimeemidwife@gmail.com. Also, what is the average volume of births at your center? Thanks and blessings to you!

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